Episode 108
The Healing Journey: Why Every Black Woman's Story Matters
Monica Wisdom's powerful message resonates throughout this episode, where she emphasizes the importance of Black women's stories as a means of empowerment and connection. Opening with a reflection on her recent podcast appearance, Monica dives into the critical role of personal narratives in the context of political engagement. She passionately argues that voting and civic participation are not just political responsibilities but essential acts of self-affirmation. Drawing parallels between historical events and contemporary issues, she illustrates how elections can profoundly affect civil rights and personal freedoms, urging her audience to recognize the weight of their voices in shaping democracy.
Takeaways:
- Monica emphasizes the importance of understanding democracy and how voting impacts our lives.
- Sharing your personal story can be empowering and is key to connecting with others.
- Every vote matters, as many elections are decided by a very slim margin.
- The healing journey is not about reliving trauma but finding strength in your narrative.
- Knowing oneself is crucial for telling one’s story from a place of empowerment.
- Monica encourages women to embrace their unique stories and find their voices.
Links referenced in this episode:
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Transcript
Hello, black women amplified.
Monica Wisdom:This is Monica wisdom.
Monica Wisdom:Excuse my hoarse voice.
Monica Wisdom:I don't know what's going on with my throat.
Monica Wisdom:I guess the seasons are changing and I have a little frog in my throat, I guess I'm coming on here today to have a solo conversation with you.
Monica Wisdom:I want to talk about the power of sharing your story.
Monica Wisdom:Some of you know that I was on the Shaping Freedom podcast this week with Luciane Basquiat, and I told you that I had a special guest coming up.
Monica Wisdom:If you're on social media following me, I've been talking about a special guest, and she's a special guest.
Monica Wisdom:I'm waiting for my version, the initial conversation to be edited, and it's not ready yet, which is fine.
Monica Wisdom:It's going to be a two part conversation.
Monica Wisdom:And my editor is really good.
Monica Wisdom:So I'm always very patient with him because I know it's going to be a great.
Monica Wisdom:He's going to do a great job.
Monica Wisdom:So I give him his space and let him do his magic.
Monica Wisdom:But I wanted to come here today to talk to you about the power of your story.
Monica Wisdom:But as I was setting up to record what came downloaded from God.
Monica Wisdom:Hi, everybody.
Monica Wisdom:Hi, everybody.
Monica Wisdom:It's Monica wisdom.
Monica Wisdom:Black women amplified.
Monica Wisdom:You know, go check.
Monica Wisdom:I just redesigned the whole website for the final time, and we'll talk about that a little later.
Monica Wisdom:But what came down on my spirit was, we are in the final days of this whirlwind election, and everybody has their objections, everybody has their opinions.
Monica Wisdom:That's fantastic.
Monica Wisdom:I love that.
Monica Wisdom:People even having the conversation.
Monica Wisdom:But what is most troubling to me is when people say, politics don't matter and people say, well, my vote doesn't matter.
Monica Wisdom:Who cares if I vote?
Monica Wisdom:There's a big entity that does this, a big entity that does that.
Monica Wisdom:But when we look at history, history doesn't match that narrative for the most part.
Monica Wisdom:For instance, if Lyndon B.
Monica Wisdom:Johnson wasn't elected president, would we have the Civil Rights act right now if Abraham Lincoln wasn't elected president?
Monica Wisdom: een freed from enslavement if: Monica Wisdom:Will we still have Roe v.
Monica Wisdom:Wade?
Monica Wisdom:And would we not be having the conversation about women's rights right now?
Monica Wisdom:Would women not be dying in hospital parking lots right now?
Monica Wisdom:So the vote does matter.
Monica Wisdom:Everything we do, because we live in a democracy and people conflate and democrats with democracy.
Monica Wisdom:We're a democratic republic, and we have people that are Republicans and we have people that are democrats.
Monica Wisdom:But a democracy is the system in which this country operates, which means it operates from a vote as opposed to a fascist regime or a dictatorship or communism or socialist right.
Monica Wisdom:So as a democracy, it means the people have a voice.
Monica Wisdom:Now, because it's a democracy, the higher numbers of people that vote wins.
Monica Wisdom:It's just like sports.
Monica Wisdom:Whoever has the most score, who has the most touchdowns, they're the ones who win the football game.
Monica Wisdom:When it comes to democracy, whichever side has the most votes, that's who wins in a democracy.
Monica Wisdom:And those votes go from the federal level to the state level to the local level to the dog catcher in some cities.
Monica Wisdom: votes,: Monica Wisdom:And so they are tallying every vote to make sure that the winner is the winner.
Monica Wisdom:Some of these go down to two or three votes, but in a democracy, the majority wins.
Monica Wisdom:And even with electoral votes, that's a whole nother conversation.
Monica Wisdom:I personally think the electoral vote.
Monica Wisdom:Electoral votes need to go away.
Monica Wisdom:Not electoral votes.
Monica Wisdom:The.
Monica Wisdom:I can't think of the name, I'm sorry.
Monica Wisdom:I've been working on this computer all day and my brain is just a little wonky, but I.
Monica Wisdom:Anyway, that's enough of this conversation.
Monica Wisdom:But I just want you to understand, when you're explaining it to people, you don't have to go through the history, you know, of enslavement.
Monica Wisdom:You don't have to go through the ancestors and all of that.
Monica Wisdom:Just say, this is how democracy works.
Monica Wisdom:Because many young people equate democracy with democrats.
Monica Wisdom:It's not the same thing.
Monica Wisdom:Democracy is the system.
Monica Wisdom:Democrats and Republicans are the people who are elected, are the people who vote for the way that they want the system to be run.
Monica Wisdom:That's the distinction.
Monica Wisdom:So democracy, democratic republic, is the system.
Monica Wisdom:And Democrats are the people.
Monica Wisdom:They're the elected officials, they're the voters, they're the citizens.
Monica Wisdom:And there's also other political parties, but they don't come to the table with a full breadth of what has to happen.
Monica Wisdom:Because in a democracy, you don't just need an elected official.
Monica Wisdom:You have to have all sorts of subsystems in place for them to even have a seat at the table when it comes to the vote.
Monica Wisdom:So that's why people are always saying, well, how come we don't see this person or that person on the ballot?
Monica Wisdom:Or how come they're not a part of the debates?
Monica Wisdom:Well, you have to have enough votes within your system to get on a debate stage, you have to have enough signatures to get onto a ballot.
Monica Wisdom:Right?
Monica Wisdom:So it's a numbers game.
Monica Wisdom:A democracy is a numbers game.
Monica Wisdom:It has nothing to do with economics.
Monica Wisdom:It's simply a numbers game.
Monica Wisdom:And it's really not that complicated.
Monica Wisdom:I wish we still had civics in school.
Monica Wisdom:But anyway, that's all I had to say.
Monica Wisdom:That's what came down in my heart.
Monica Wisdom:It's like we have to understand that every vote matters because some of these people in office based off of very small numbers and the way that they gerrymander.
Monica Wisdom:So what is gerrymandering?
Monica Wisdom:Gerrymandering is when they cut up a block of land to represent the people that they want to get into office.
Monica Wisdom:So when they redistrict, they look at every address, who lives there, their race, their gender, their economics, and they decide who's going to be in this block so they can cut it up so that there are only white republicans.
Monica Wisdom:So then they will get representatives, they will get a bigger voice for a senator.
Monica Wisdom:And so when we look at all of that, we have to say which party is going to be fair to everybody, not just a few.
Monica Wisdom:And I know people are feeling like they're outliers and they're marginalized, but that's just not true.
Monica Wisdom:On the democratic side.
Monica Wisdom:Everybody doesn't get the same amount of attention at the same time, but know that the opportunities are there.
Monica Wisdom:But everybody's not gonna knock on our door and tell us what it is.
Monica Wisdom:We have to get on our websites and do our research, and not by these outlier people.
Monica Wisdom:These, I call them outlier people, like these so called doctors and experts and things who are on these podcasts, who are on the other things, who are saying that they are experts and they're basing their information off of their agenda or who's paying them.
Monica Wisdom:And so we have to be really cautious and do our due diligence in who we listen to.
Monica Wisdom:So I'll leave that there.
Monica Wisdom:And I just, it was on my spirit to say, because as much as I try and pull myself away from the conversation, I just got off of a call with win with black women, and they were giving us training on media training, essentially.
Monica Wisdom:It was amazing.
Monica Wisdom:Adona Brazil was on there, and different people who are, like, deep into politics and just listening to them talk about, especially Donna Brazil and other people who are in the media.
Monica Wisdom:And I'm grateful for the training.
Monica Wisdom:But just to be clear, be researched and have facts, you know, even when you make a vote, be clear, be researched, and have facts.
Monica Wisdom:And I know you all are listening, who listen to me.
Monica Wisdom:Y'all know all of this stuff, but share this with somebody who doesn't, you know, take them to a, you know, civics training, or what is it that we watch as a kid?
Monica Wisdom:Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Monica Wisdom:Schoolhouse rock.
Monica Wisdom:Just have them sit down and watch schoolhouse rock so that people can understand how the process works.
Monica Wisdom:People we hear so much about, America is a business, and this and this and this.
Monica Wisdom:It is not a business.
Monica Wisdom:It is democracy.
Monica Wisdom:And a president is not the same thing as a CEO.
Monica Wisdom:There are three branches of government.
Monica Wisdom:Not a CEO who runs everything.
Monica Wisdom:So a president doesn't have the power that people equate with people who have powers.
Monica Wisdom:He's not a king, and he's not a CEO of a corporation.
Monica Wisdom:He is the president of a democracy.
Monica Wisdom:And you have three branches of government.
Monica Wisdom:Executive, judicial.
Monica Wisdom:I can't get that word up.
Monica Wisdom:And Congress.
Monica Wisdom:And then you have the Senate, and you have the House of Representatives.
Monica Wisdom:The House of Representatives, where you say, well, where's the money for this, and where's the money for that?
Monica Wisdom:The people in the House of Representatives are the people who decide who gets the money, who doesn't.
Monica Wisdom:The Senate makes the laws.
Monica Wisdom:So get to know civics, get to know the constitution.
Monica Wisdom:There's an app for the constitution that you can get on your app store, and then you can really, really find out how this system works.
Monica Wisdom:And that way, you can make an educated.
Monica Wisdom:An educated choice, not based off what somebody told you or hearsay or what you're feeling today or any of that.
Monica Wisdom:Take the emotion out of it.
Monica Wisdom:Put logic in it.
Monica Wisdom:Get clear, be researched, fact check everything.
Monica Wisdom:Especially in this era of AI.
Monica Wisdom:There's.
Monica Wisdom:So I was watching something.
Monica Wisdom:Something ticked in the wrong way.
Monica Wisdom:You know how you watch the Matrix and the cat, like, did something?
Monica Wisdom:I was like, oh, my God.
Monica Wisdom:I'm sitting here watching this thing, and this whole thing is AI.
Monica Wisdom:So, yeah, we have to really do our due diligence and go back to the basics.
Monica Wisdom:Take the emotion out of it and be clear, researched, and fact based.
Monica Wisdom:So, anyway, that's my.
Monica Wisdom:That's my.
Monica Wisdom:That's my rant or my download from God.
Monica Wisdom:It just.
Monica Wisdom:It was just on my spirit.
Monica Wisdom:It's like, you got to say this.
Monica Wisdom:And, um.
Monica Wisdom:So, anyway, I want to talk today about the power of your story.
Monica Wisdom:I was on the, like I said, the, uh, shaping freedom podcast with Lisan Basigiat, and she and I are in each other's podcast.
Monica Wisdom:That's how it worked out, which it has been beautiful.
Monica Wisdom:I feel like I've made a friend for life, and it's just a great conversation.
Monica Wisdom:But here's the thing about the conversation as I watch back some of what I said, because I've always, like, when I do a podcast or recording or I'm on somebody else's show, I don't watch it.
Monica Wisdom:But I watched this one just because I don't know why.
Monica Wisdom:And so you can watch it on her YouTube channel if you want to see the video.
Monica Wisdom:She does a video podcast as well as audio, but you can watch the video on her YouTube channel.
Monica Wisdom:And there's snippets on the black women amplified pages wherever you connect with us on social media, Instagram, or Facebook.
Monica Wisdom:And I think threads, because I think threads automatically goes to Facebook.
Monica Wisdom:But it was really interesting watching myself back because I didn't have any emotion about it.
Monica Wisdom:I didn't feel like, oh, shit, I shouldn't have said that.
Monica Wisdom:It was like, well, it is what it is.
Monica Wisdom:And I started thinking about, where did I get to that space in my life?
Monica Wisdom:Because so much of my life, I was ashamed of how I grew up.
Monica Wisdom:You know, I was ashamed of the life that I lived.
Monica Wisdom:And so I never talked about it.
Monica Wisdom:I created a whole world where nobody knew who I really was except my closest, closest people, not even my family.
Monica Wisdom:It's so interesting because after the conversation, my cousin called me.
Monica Wisdom:She's my second cousin.
Monica Wisdom:She's my mom's first cousin.
Monica Wisdom:And she called me and I talked about my mom because the question was, asked me, what happened when you were 13 that shaped your life?
Monica Wisdom:Well, at 13, my mother passed away.
Monica Wisdom:And not only did she pass away, she committed suicide.
Monica Wisdom:Well, I actually forgot that I said it because I was so in the moment.
Monica Wisdom:And my cousin called and asked me, was it really true?
Monica Wisdom:I was like, of course it's true.
Monica Wisdom:I would never.
Monica Wisdom:Who would make.
Monica Wisdom:Who would make that up, first of all?
Monica Wisdom:And secondly, she didn't know.
Monica Wisdom:She's like, I didn't know that's how your mother died.
Monica Wisdom:And I said, well, I thought the whole family knew.
Monica Wisdom:And so she was asking me details.
Monica Wisdom:And at one point, I was like, you know what?
Monica Wisdom:I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Monica Wisdom:I'm fine.
Monica Wisdom:It's in the past.
Monica Wisdom:It's my life, it's my story, it's my truth.
Monica Wisdom:But I'm not going to regurgitate the whole thing because you don't know.
Monica Wisdom:So it was clear in my conversation with her, but it was, you know, because I'm not going to re traumatize myself.
Monica Wisdom:I've gotten to the point in my life where I'm not going to re traumatize myself talking about my past.
Monica Wisdom:And I said what I said, and I said what I said, and it is what it is.
Monica Wisdom:It is what it is.
Monica Wisdom:But the reality of it is, it's.
Monica Wisdom:It took me a long time to get to a place where I could just talk about my life and not be emotional about it.
Monica Wisdom:There are times when I do have my moments.
Monica Wisdom:I mean, I have my moments when I'm thinking about my mom or my dad or my brother, and I start crying.
Monica Wisdom:There are times when I can smell them.
Monica Wisdom:There are times when I just think about fun moments that we've had.
Monica Wisdom:Halloween was like my dad's big holiday, so we always went to a haunted house, went to see a scary movie, something.
Monica Wisdom:And so now that it is Halloween season, I'm like, oh, yeah, my dad would come pick us up, and we'd be in the backseat of the car, and we'd be rolling out doing Halloween stuff.
Monica Wisdom:But when I was watching the interview on the Shaping Freedom podcast, I was just like, wow.
Monica Wisdom:I did the work, and it worked.
Monica Wisdom:I did the work, and the work worked.
Monica Wisdom:And when I said I did the work years ago, probably around the early two thousands, I tried therapy.
Monica Wisdom:At that time, there was not trauma informed therapy.
Monica Wisdom:It was just real basic.
Monica Wisdom:And it was.
Monica Wisdom:I'm just going to say it.
Monica Wisdom:It was real white.
Monica Wisdom:The medical communities have not studied black people, specifically black.
Monica Wisdom:And I can only.
Monica Wisdom:I don't know about black men, but I can specifically talk about black women.
Monica Wisdom:They don't know anything about how our mind works.
Monica Wisdom:They don't know the experiences that we've had, and they don't study our bodies.
Monica Wisdom:That's just.
Monica Wisdom:Those are just facts that are out in the world.
Monica Wisdom:They don't study.
Monica Wisdom:Even when Henrietta lacks her blood is used, her blood wasn't used to study her black woman body.
Monica Wisdom:It was used to help white folks be healthy.
Monica Wisdom:And we might get a byproduct of that.
Monica Wisdom:But my point is, is that I tried therapy.
Monica Wisdom:It just did not work for me.
Monica Wisdom:So I had to find something that felt right to me, and I prayed about it.
Monica Wisdom:Prayer is, you know, my conversation with God, and, you know, now people tell you, don't pray like this.
Monica Wisdom:Don't pray.
Monica Wisdom:Look, I pray.
Monica Wisdom:I ask God questions, and I may, I make requests.
Monica Wisdom:And, you know, I have gotten so far away from that, but I'm back to it now.
Monica Wisdom:But I started praying about God.
Monica Wisdom:I need help.
Monica Wisdom:I need help.
Monica Wisdom:And opportunities to receive help came about, and it took me a long time.
Monica Wisdom:And then once I got the tools, I created my own self discovery journey.
Monica Wisdom:So I've taken myself on a self discovery journey.
Monica Wisdom:I'm just coming out of one now.
Monica Wisdom:And the tools that I use, you know, I talk about it all the time, and everybody should take themselves on a self discovery journey, because the one thing about being able to tell your story and to tell it in such a way that is from an empowered perspective as opposed to a emotional perspective, is to know yourself.
Monica Wisdom:Like, know yourself, you know, your.
Monica Wisdom:Your good side, your bad side, your bad decisions, your good decisions, you know, your standards, your values, your boundaries, your voice.
Monica Wisdom:One year, myself, somebody asked me, you know, what have you been up to?
Monica Wisdom:I said, I'm just trying to find my voice.
Monica Wisdom:And what does that mean?
Monica Wisdom:To find my voice?
Monica Wisdom:That means my voice, not my sibling's voice, not my family's voice, not my peers voice, not society's voice, but my voice.
Monica Wisdom:And what do I mean by my voice?
Monica Wisdom:My voice that is connected to the divine being within me.
Monica Wisdom:There's that voice.
Monica Wisdom:And for a long time, the programs that ran inside of me belonged to my dad, belonged to my mom, belonged to people I have dated, friends.
Monica Wisdom:And those were coloring my decisions.
Monica Wisdom:Like I talked about in the Shaping Freedom podcast, my trauma and my abuse shaped my decisions.
Monica Wisdom:And so that, because that's all I saw, I believe, you know, we talk about manifesting, and I believe that the world we see is the world we create.
Monica Wisdom:And there's a responsibility in all of that.
Monica Wisdom:But that's a whole nother topic for another day.
Monica Wisdom:But in order for me to tell my story in a way that I didn't re traumatize myself, it had to be from an empowered place where I was clear, I was factual, and I had researched myself during the self discovery story, self discovery process.
Monica Wisdom:And so I felt free to just say, this is who I am now.
Monica Wisdom:I talked about a lot of things I've never talked about before, not because I didn't want to.
Monica Wisdom:It's just these are topics that just don't come up in discussion.
Monica Wisdom:And so when she asked me the questions, I was like, well, I'm in this space.
Monica Wisdom:Let me tell the truth, the whole truth, and this is what it is.
Monica Wisdom:And because of that, I told my story from its truth.
Monica Wisdom:Space, not protecting space.
Monica Wisdom:It resonated with a lot of people.
Monica Wisdom:I've gotten texts, phone calls, DM's thanking me for sharing, thanking me for my courage, thanking me for my bravery.
Monica Wisdom:I don't feel like it's all of that.
Monica Wisdom:It wasn't anything that I even contemplated.
Monica Wisdom:It was the answer that came up when she asked the question.
Monica Wisdom:But I say all that to say.
Monica Wisdom:It's a process that gets you there.
Monica Wisdom:Oftentimes, you see people tell their story and they break down and they need to, you know, pull themselves back together.
Monica Wisdom:And that's perfectly fine.
Monica Wisdom:Wherever you are in the process, it is perfectly fine.
Monica Wisdom:Wherever you are in your process of grief, it is perfectly fine.
Monica Wisdom:But we have a lot of women who will not share their stories because the pain is still so strong and will not get the help to move from that place.
Monica Wisdom:We don't have to be stuck in our pain.
Monica Wisdom:And I was having another conversation.
Monica Wisdom:I often speak to myself.
Monica Wisdom:I was speaking to myself because we have gotten so into this healing, being healed conversation.
Monica Wisdom:And I'm not saying that it doesn't have to happen.
Monica Wisdom:It does have to happen, but it does not have to happen the way that a television show happens.
Monica Wisdom:Like, we don't have to turn it on, like, our phone.
Monica Wisdom:We don't have to turn it on every day.
Monica Wisdom:We don't have to be in that pain every single day.
Monica Wisdom:Just like you schedule a massage or you schedule self care.
Monica Wisdom:Self care is not about, in my opinion, always being in that conversation of healing.
Monica Wisdom:Because here's the thing.
Monica Wisdom:Some shit, you just gotta let it go.
Monica Wisdom:It will never be healed.
Monica Wisdom:You cannot change other people's minds.
Monica Wisdom:You cannot change the past.
Monica Wisdom:You cannot change how people perceive you.
Monica Wisdom:Those are things you have no control of.
Monica Wisdom:But what we do have control of is what we allow inside.
Monica Wisdom:What we allow.
Monica Wisdom:If we know ourselves, we know our triggers.
Monica Wisdom:That has been an important part of my healing journey.
Monica Wisdom:And the reason I could say the things that I say without emotion attached to it is I know my triggers.
Monica Wisdom:I know how far I can go.
Monica Wisdom:Like, when I just said I talked to my cousin, I was like, you know what?
Monica Wisdom:Nope.
Monica Wisdom:I'm not talking about this anymore.
Monica Wisdom:I set a boundary with her.
Monica Wisdom:She was curious.
Monica Wisdom:She wanted to know all the answers, but I'm not giving them to you.
Monica Wisdom:I said, call my aunt, call her sister, call other people in the family.
Monica Wisdom:But I'm not getting ready to give you that information.
Monica Wisdom:I was a kid.
Monica Wisdom:I knew what I knew, but I don't know everything.
Monica Wisdom:And if people don't want to tell me, that's fine.
Monica Wisdom:But I'm not getting ready to have this conversation because I'm not about to re traumatize myself.
Monica Wisdom:Because of somebody else's curiosity.
Monica Wisdom:So if you never tell your story, that's fine.
Monica Wisdom:But there are many people who have a desire to share their story to make an impact in the world.
Monica Wisdom:And here's the thing.
Monica Wisdom:In business, and the way that business is going and the way that life is going, the way that technology is, our superpower is our story, and it's ours.
Monica Wisdom:It is the only thing that we have that lets people know who we are, where we come from, what we offer, and what we have done.
Monica Wisdom:There are so many different versions of telling your story, but the first story you have to deal with is a story you tell yourself, right?
Monica Wisdom:The story.
Monica Wisdom:We want to call it imposter syndrome.
Monica Wisdom:We want to call it a healing story.
Monica Wisdom:We want to call it all of these things.
Monica Wisdom:Things.
Monica Wisdom:But your story is your superpower, and it is what has the ability to connect with others.
Monica Wisdom:It makes you.
Monica Wisdom:It shows your uniqueness and your power, your resilience, your strengths, your weaknesses.
Monica Wisdom:Your story is your life's blueprint.
Monica Wisdom:And because we have so many unresolved things in our lives, and that's what people call the healing journey, I call a lot of unresolved issues.
Monica Wisdom:Right?
Monica Wisdom:We have.
Monica Wisdom:And if therapy is what you need to do, that's fine.
Monica Wisdom:If sister circles is what you need to do, that's fine.
Monica Wisdom:But find a way to deal with those unresolved issues we work so hard on.
Monica Wisdom:We talk so much about our physical well being, we talk so much about our financial well being, our status, our jobs, our accomplishments, but we very rarely talk about.
Monica Wisdom:And now we're talking about mental wellness.
Monica Wisdom:A lot of our men, in my opinion, this is just my opinion, a lot of our mental unwellness is because we have a lot of unresolved issues that if we actually sat down and dealt with those issues like I did in my self discovery journey, it just unravels.
Monica Wisdom:It literally unravels.
Monica Wisdom:When I dealt, when I have the epiphany of let's, I'll use my father, I'll use me and my father as an example.
Monica Wisdom:One day I woke up and I was wondering, why are these relationships not working?
Monica Wisdom:What's going on?
Monica Wisdom:And I started praying about it.
Monica Wisdom:Writing about journaling.
Monica Wisdom:I believe in sacred writing.
Monica Wisdom:Journaling is a very powerful tool because journaling allows you to dump it all out so that you can be clear to have the conversation with yourself.
Monica Wisdom:And what I realized is that every guy that I have dated had the imprint of my dad.
Monica Wisdom:Powerful, independent, hard working, like everything, the good and the bad.
Monica Wisdom:And I was like, poppy.
Monica Wisdom:Oh, my God.
Monica Wisdom:But when I came to that realization and then I used my tools to unravel it, I was like, oh, I can't.
Monica Wisdom:That's not the life I want.
Monica Wisdom:So then I realize the life I didn't want.
Monica Wisdom:So then I have to ask myself, what do I want?
Monica Wisdom:Most people just go to the one side or the other.
Monica Wisdom:They either go to, I don't want this, or I want all of this.
Monica Wisdom:But in order to have a clear space for anything to happen, you have to look at both.
Monica Wisdom:You have to look at what you don't want, and then you really have to get clear on who you are so you can decide what you really do want.
Monica Wisdom:And those are two different conversations.
Monica Wisdom:But it all begins with the conversation that you have in your head.
Monica Wisdom:And the conversation that you have in your head is the one that determines everything else, because you could live in a mansion, and if you feel unworthy to be there, I guarantee you, you will generate the energy that you won't be there, right?
Monica Wisdom:That you won't be there.
Monica Wisdom:And I don't know how to turn out, but everything we say and everything we think is energy.
Monica Wisdom:And energy doesn't have a good or a bad.
Monica Wisdom:It just has a positive or a negative.
Monica Wisdom:And it is what we put out there with our thoughts, how we feel about ourselves, determine everything else, how we talk to ourselves.
Monica Wisdom:You know, I was working on my website, and I was.
Monica Wisdom:This time I was cheering myself on.
Monica Wisdom:I was like, yes.
Monica Wisdom:Yeah.
Monica Wisdom:Oh, my God.
Monica Wisdom:That sounds amazing.
Monica Wisdom:Because not only am I designing the website, I'm writing all of the copy and I write it, and it's not right.
Monica Wisdom:And I just finally I get to the place where it just feels good.
Monica Wisdom:And I'm like, yes, this is it.
Monica Wisdom:This is it.
Monica Wisdom:This is it.
Monica Wisdom:This is it.
Monica Wisdom:And I have redesigned this website.
Monica Wisdom:I think about seven times in the last year because it did not get to the point of what I wanted it to be.
Monica Wisdom:But what was missing was my story.
Monica Wisdom:Why was I starting black women amplified right?
Monica Wisdom:Why did I feel it was important to build a women's empowerment space specifically for black women?
Monica Wisdom:Why did I feel that?
Monica Wisdom:And what was it that it needed to be?
Monica Wisdom:And it needed to be the space that that 13 year old girl who lost her mother needed.
Monica Wisdom:That's what it needed to be.
Monica Wisdom:So I had to breathe my soul into my website.
Monica Wisdom:I had to put my story in my website.
Monica Wisdom:That's what I mean by if you look at it.
Monica Wisdom:If you looked at it six months ago and you look at it now it is completely different.
Monica Wisdom:And it's just.
Monica Wisdom:It's 100% me, and it's 100% of what I needed when I was a young girl, when I was a young woman, when I was 30 years old.
Monica Wisdom:And because we live in a society that disregards black girls and black women, we have to make it up for ourselves.
Monica Wisdom:And that's what Donna Brazile said tonight on the call.
Monica Wisdom:She was talking about somebody asked her a question, and she said, listen, we are the blueprint of all of this.
Monica Wisdom:She said, everything that's happening now, we created, we are innovative, we have ingenuity.
Monica Wisdom:So stop waiting around for people to do for you.
Monica Wisdom:Nobody's going to do it for you.
Monica Wisdom:Go make it up.
Monica Wisdom:Be creative and go make it up.
Monica Wisdom:And mind you, I was on the call after I completed my website, and I was just like, it was just confirmation.
Monica Wisdom:It was just God saying, see, I told you.
Monica Wisdom:You got this right.
Monica Wisdom:You got it right.
Monica Wisdom:And it's really interesting because that's what our story does.
Monica Wisdom:People like, people are like, oh, I want to give speeches.
Monica Wisdom:I want to talk to the world.
Monica Wisdom:But who have you connected to and why?
Monica Wisdom:You know, I listen to podcasts all the time.
Monica Wisdom:I watch YouTube videos all the time.
Monica Wisdom:And the thing I can feel, and you can feel when somebody's insincere.
Monica Wisdom:But oftentimes we get caught up into the popularity of a person and don't pay attention to the character, the content of their character, which is what Doctor King talked about.
Monica Wisdom:And they're talking, but they're not saying anything.
Monica Wisdom:But it's popular.
Monica Wisdom:So everybody watches it and everybody listens.
Monica Wisdom:And, you know, when I talk to people about starting a podcast, it has to be real.
Monica Wisdom:You know, if you're doing it to be popular and it's not something you're passionate about or connects to you, you're not going to have longevity in this game.
Monica Wisdom:You know, when I started the black Women amplified podcast, it started with telling my stories.
Monica Wisdom:And I listened back to those episodes, though.
Monica Wisdom:They are good.
Monica Wisdom:And I am speaking my truth.
Monica Wisdom:I didn't put my soul into those episodes.
Monica Wisdom:And the more I got, you know, the more episodes came and came and came.
Monica Wisdom:I had to find ways to not share myself, specifically pull myself out of it, but create spaces where women could share their souls.
Monica Wisdom:And that's what I've done.
Monica Wisdom:So my podcast might not be getting a million downloads yet, it might not be making a million dollars a year yet.
Monica Wisdom:But that is my wish and that is my dream, that this podcast reached people all over the world.
Monica Wisdom:So the world can hear our stories.
Monica Wisdom:We are these magnificent beings that are so ingenious and so divine and so powerful, but we don't even recognize it in ourselves.
Monica Wisdom:How do I know that?
Monica Wisdom:I've talked to thousands of women, and there's a baseline.
Monica Wisdom:And the.
Monica Wisdom:And the problem is the ones who are the loudest, who are the loudest are not as powerful as the ones that are nervous or scared or don't feel like they deserve to share their stories.
Monica Wisdom:There are some powerful women out here that we've never heard yet.
Monica Wisdom:And that's why part of black women amplified is stories not yet heard.
Monica Wisdom:And I am clear with these.
Monica Wisdom:When I interview people, I want you to know that I see you, I hear you, and I acknowledge you.
Monica Wisdom:And there is not one woman that I've had on this podcast when the record button ends, that they tell me, I can't believe how much you knew about me because I do my research, clear, researched, factual.
Monica Wisdom:That's the foundation of everything I do in my work.
Monica Wisdom:Is it.
Monica Wisdom:Is it clear?
Monica Wisdom:Is it researched and is it factual?
Monica Wisdom:And I have my opinions.
Monica Wisdom:I have my opinions about a lot of things.
Monica Wisdom:A lot of things I keep to myself because lord knows I need to stay off the twitter.
Monica Wisdom:But there are so many women that say, you see me?
Monica Wisdom:This was amazing.
Monica Wisdom:I had.
Monica Wisdom:I've had people's managers email me and say, thank you.
Monica Wisdom:She got off the zoom with you and called me and just raved about the conversation.
Monica Wisdom:Because I see how people are treated on these podcasts, on these interviews.
Monica Wisdom:Just look at how Kamala is being treated on these interviews, even in places that are supposed to be safe spaces.
Monica Wisdom:Because she's a black woman, she's treated completely different.
Monica Wisdom:The questions that they give her are complicated.
Monica Wisdom:Half of them are convoluted.
Monica Wisdom:But she's ready.
Monica Wisdom:Why?
Monica Wisdom:Because she's a black woman.
Monica Wisdom:She is clear, she is researched, and she is factual.
Monica Wisdom:So no matter what they bring to her, she's ready, and she is consistently improving.
Monica Wisdom:Why?
Monica Wisdom:Because she's doing the work.
Monica Wisdom:She's doing the work on herself, her message, and what she wants to bring to the world.
Monica Wisdom:She is unraveling from Joe Biden's presidency.
Monica Wisdom:And like she keeps saying, I'm not him.
Monica Wisdom:She worked for, and she still does.
Monica Wisdom:She's still the vice president, but she ain't him.
Monica Wisdom:Just like you ain't your mama, you ain't your daddy.
Monica Wisdom:We get so stuck on traditions, but you ain't them.
Monica Wisdom:You are.
Monica Wisdom:You were divinely fashioned in your mother's womb before you were born.
Monica Wisdom:That's biblical.
Monica Wisdom:God knew you before you were born.
Monica Wisdom:That's biblical.
Monica Wisdom:Your story, your destiny, your destiny was written before you got here.
Monica Wisdom:Now your story is how you choose to walk.
Monica Wisdom:In your destiny.
Monica Wisdom:Your purpose came with you.
Monica Wisdom:Your purpose came with you.
Monica Wisdom:What people are searching for, they call purpose.
Monica Wisdom:But it's actually your path, your destiny path.
Monica Wisdom:That's the piece that people are looking for, because your purpose came with you.
Monica Wisdom:If you're a humorous person, you bring humor to everything.
Monica Wisdom:That's your purpose.
Monica Wisdom:Your purpose is to bring joy.
Monica Wisdom:If you're a deep thinker, your purpose is to be intellectual.
Monica Wisdom:But we think, we look at all these other places and all these other beings on this planet and think that it's supposed to be like them.
Monica Wisdom:Absolutely nothing.
Monica Wisdom:I was a hairstylist for 35 years, and one thing that we know is that your fingerprint is unique to every person.
Monica Wisdom:Every person has their own fingerprint.
Monica Wisdom:And you know what else that matches?
Monica Wisdom:Your fingerprint matches the way that your hair is.
Monica Wisdom:Your hair follicles are patterned on your head.
Monica Wisdom:Who did that?
Monica Wisdom:Your fingerprint matches the way, matches the pattern of the hair follicles that grow out of your head.
Monica Wisdom:So if you have a bunch of swirlies in your fingertips, you have a lot of colics in your hair, you have a lot of areas where the hair grows in different directions.
Monica Wisdom:It's identical.
Monica Wisdom:You are divinely engineered being, and your story is how you choose to walk through your world.
Monica Wisdom:But when you get to that point, like Neo did in the matrix, when he realized that he could stop bullets, that's your destined path.
Monica Wisdom:And that's what we're looking for.
Monica Wisdom:But what blocks us is that conversation in our head.
Monica Wisdom:Those programs that society has put, our parents have put, our family have put, our education has put a.
Monica Wisdom:And those are the things that we have to unravel in order to see who we are and understand our power.
Monica Wisdom:So here's the thing, the first step, let's say you want to go on an empowerment journey.
Monica Wisdom:This is the perfect time to do it, because vision board season is coming up.
Monica Wisdom:Everybody's talking about manifesting.
Monica Wisdom:You can, you can wish on a star all you want to, but if that voice in your head says that you don't deserve that wish, you may get it, but it's not going to have roots in your life and it's not going to be consistent.
Monica Wisdom:That's a whole other conversation I'll get into.
Monica Wisdom:But I just wanted to say that take the time to get to know yourself.
Monica Wisdom:Take the time to find your voice, outside of your family's voice, outside of society's voice.
Monica Wisdom:Because once you tap into that, that's when you'll be on the journey of understanding your power.
Monica Wisdom:Your power.
Monica Wisdom:Your power is not like my power.
Monica Wisdom:Our power is as unique as the fingerprints that we have on our hands as the follicles grow out of our head.
Monica Wisdom:That is how our unique.
Monica Wisdom:That is how unique our power is.
Monica Wisdom:Yep.
Monica Wisdom:Yeah.
Monica Wisdom:So I just wanted to say that for anybody who's interested, I created, you know, I'm always creating something, but I created a masterclass where we talk about this, we talk about.
Monica Wisdom:We talk about letting go of those voices that are no longer serving us.
Monica Wisdom:And it's the very first step in going on a self discovery journey, to go on a healing journey, if that's what you want to call it, but is to calm those voices in your head that say you're not good enough, that say you have imposter syndrome, that say you're not worthy, that tells you you look in the mirror and say, ooh, girl, you look crazy or put on more makeup, or you need to go change your body or you need to go change this or that, because then you'll feel better, you know, when you feel good about yourself.
Monica Wisdom:When you feel good about yourself.
Monica Wisdom:So the course is called unmuted.
Monica Wisdom:It's a masterclass that I'm offering at a really great rate for a little bit of time, and then it's going to go up.
Monica Wisdom:But if you go to Blackwoman amplified.com.
Monica Wisdom:unmuted.
Monica Wisdom:No, I'm sorry, that's absolutely wrong.
Monica Wisdom:If you go to Blackwoman amplified.com waitlist, you can get on the waitlist.
Monica Wisdom:And then when I release it, you'll be the first to know and you can purchase it.
Monica Wisdom:And then it'll be an on demand class.
Monica Wisdom:And you just go through the process.
Monica Wisdom:And then I want to hear about how the process was.
Monica Wisdom:If you have any questions, I will be giving you my.
Monica Wisdom:Those who sign up for it will be getting my private email address so you can ask me whatever questions you need to ask.
Monica Wisdom:And outside of that, I'm going to start a community.
Monica Wisdom:I've been talking about it forever.
Monica Wisdom:I think I'll start with a Facebook page because that's where most Gen X people are.
Monica Wisdom:And then if it grows to the magnitude of.
Monica Wisdom:I hope that it grows to, we will find a private space off of social media.
Monica Wisdom:But all of that's coming.
Monica Wisdom:And if you get on the email, if you sign up for the waitlist, then you'll get on the email list, the newsletter, and you'll get information when it comes out.
Monica Wisdom:So here's the thing.
Monica Wisdom:Know that your story is your superpower, and it's full of possibilities because you have so much more life to live.
Monica Wisdom:But you get to decide how you want that life to live, how that life, how you want your life to be lived.
Monica Wisdom:You know, it doesn't have tomorrow, doesn't have to be like yesterday, right?
Monica Wisdom:And no matter what they tell you, it does not have to be like yesterday.
Monica Wisdom:And we're not always going to like Lisanne said that she is a strategist.
Monica Wisdom:She strategized all the good things and all the bad things that have happened in her life.
Monica Wisdom:And that's what we do.
Monica Wisdom:We, the good decisions and the bad decisions, we have to own them, because Lord knows, I have made mine, but I own them.
Monica Wisdom:And owning them puts you in a place of power, because you're not a victim.
Monica Wisdom:Stuff happens to us that is horrible.
Monica Wisdom:I can tell you horror stories for days, for months, for years, and tell you things that have happened to me.
Monica Wisdom:Some of them happened to me, and some of them, I made bad decisions, and it didn't turn out well.
Monica Wisdom:But I've also made some great choices and some great decisions, and I've lived.
Monica Wisdom:I was thinking the other day, I was having a conversation with God, as I often do, and I just thank God for the life that I've had, for the places that I've been, for the people that I have met.
Monica Wisdom:And I ask God for forgiveness because I did not appreciate it.
Monica Wisdom:Because I always thought it wasn't good enough.
Monica Wisdom:I always thought it needed to be different.
Monica Wisdom:I always thought I needed more.
Monica Wisdom:But the truth of the matter is, it was enough.
Monica Wisdom:I was enough, and I was worthy to be in those spaces.
Monica Wisdom:But because I didn't feel worthy, I didn't take advantage of the opportunity.
Monica Wisdom:And again, I did not appreciate the opportunities that were presented to me.
Monica Wisdom:God put me in all the places of my dreams, and I could not see it, because all I saw was life.
Monica Wisdom:Through the lens of trauma, pain, abuse, hurt.
Monica Wisdom:And the bad decisions, guilt and self discovery helps you clear all that up.
Monica Wisdom:You know how you go outside and it's been rainy and muddy, and snow is on the windows?
Monica Wisdom:Some people have snow, some people don't.
Monica Wisdom:But the windshield is dirty, and you try and clean it off, but you don't have the windshield wiper fluid that you need.
Monica Wisdom:You don't have enough.
Monica Wisdom:Self discovery.
Monica Wisdom:Is that windshield wiper fluid that you pour in and then you squirt it on the window, you run the windshield wipers, and everything is clear.
Monica Wisdom:And then you see exactly where you need to go.
Monica Wisdom:That's in a nutshell, the journey of a self discovery.
Monica Wisdom:Of self discovery.
Monica Wisdom:And it begins with dealing with the thoughts in your head, not the situations that you have had.
Monica Wisdom:The thoughts in your head about the situations you've had.
Monica Wisdom:Because that is where you keep traumatizing yourself and you keep seeing it and living it over and over and over again.
Monica Wisdom:If you're ready for a change, let's talk.
Monica Wisdom:Let's have that conversation.
Monica Wisdom:But I'm going to end this now.
Monica Wisdom:I didn't realize I've been talking almost an hour, but thank you for listening.
Monica Wisdom:Thank you for tuning in always to the black women amplify podcast.
Monica Wisdom:And I hope that wherever you are in the world, that you are having a marvelous day.
Monica Wisdom:That you look in the mirror and love yourself, and that as you walk this journey through life, you know that you are enough.
Monica Wisdom:Have an amazing day and I'll be back next week.
Monica Wisdom:Take care.
Monica Wisdom:Sending you light, love and prosperity.
Monica Wisdom:Make sure you visit my new website, our new website, because I'm doing this for us ww dot Blackwoman amplified.com so that you can see all the new happenings that are and get on our email list and I'll talk to you soon.
Monica Wisdom:Have an amazing day.
Monica Wisdom:Take care.
Monica Wisdom:Bye.
